tis’ a simple life

sometimes I write reminders to myself, this is one of those times.

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Occasionally, I find myself straying from everything I am and wish to be.

So far, I’ve made it back each time. Yesterday, I read Unnecesseriat, and cried for the first time in two years. I’m still not sure why.

But I’m glad I did. It’s funny how the world looks so much clearer through tears.

I might be too hard on myself, desire is as human an emotion as any. And I am no unwavering saint; it’s hard to be one in a world that demands the opposite. But then again, everything that’s worth doing is hard.

We know what we want, which is why they have to try so hard to make us forget. But the answer is true nonetheless:

Life is simple.

I’m happiest just after I’ve pushed my body to it’s limits. After I’ve written a song that feels like it was handed me by the Muses. When my competence grows, and I see the dents in reality that I am making. After I watch a friend win at something they deserved to, and even more so when luck smiles upon them.

I only really need food, a book and a backyard to spend a day well. Poetry is beautiful, as is jazz. There is much in the world that is free and worth enjoying. A body that works, a mind that is clear and worlds to be conquered. I will always have money for these things, and enough extra to pay the bills.

Life is simple.

I enjoy the quiet, and my friends have learnt to live with that. I take no pleasure in showmanship, neither am I good at it. Clubs are fun because they’re the few places people get to be free of boundaries. Boundaries that they’ve set for themselves. It is this freedom, the possibility of the unplanned incident, that make them exciting. But there are other ways to get there, since danger and unpredictability are the elements that matter. You should try judo sometimes.

Dubai is the most soulless place I’ve ever seen. I’ve met crypto millionaires with nothing behind their eyes. I know people who’ve made it and forgotten the point. You know this too, yet even I have to remind myself of it sometimes.

Life is simple.

You could go to New York, and live among the “elite”, on the forefront of art and culture. You could join a commune and spend your days making terrible art and hugging trust-fund babies. You could build a multi-billion-dollar B2B SaaS company and retire with obscene wealth.

Or you could choose to spend the rest of your life among family and friends. You could forge relationships built on trust and a deep, deep love of beauty and each other. You could work with people you respect, growing to match their souls. You could make beautiful things among a tiny group of fellows, for this is how all beautiful things are made.

Life is simple.

You could listen to the salesmen that sell life as an “experience”, a graph of hedonism that must be “maximised”. You could choose to fear the feeling of regret and buy your way out of it, chasing happiness until your teeth fall out. There’ll always be someone to tell you is was worth it.

Or you could live a life of service, in defiance of every heathen influence around you. You could watch the world pass by and know you’re in the best lane.

You’re never taught which games are worth playing because everyone needs you to be playing theirs. But whatever game you pick will be one that was sold to you at some point, you might as well make it a noble one. For it is then that you will be on the side of God.

Life is simple.

It’s easy to worry about if you’re “really a good person”, but the truth is that it’s a dumb question. We were born in sin, any good that we do is a rebellion against defaults of savageness. Goodness exists outside of you, the only question is whether you will choose to be a channel for it.

Legacies will fade. When you die, the only things that matter will be between you and God. We will continue to glamorise the pursuit of glory because that’s what keeps the word moving. But if you know what you want, you only need to keep reminding yourself of it.

The people around you are the only ones who can feel the effects of your love. To history, you’re just a guy with a name and a wikipedia page.

Life is simple.